A couple months ago, I ran across an organization on Ravelry called Calvin's Hat's. (Go to their site to read their story in full) They distribute itty bitty tiny baby hats to people who experience the loss of a child due to premature birth. Having experienced the loss of a child myself (due to a heart defect, he was born full term), I felt compelled to participate. But, at the same time, I hesitated.
My child, Christopher, was born on April 12, 2008. I am still not anywhere near healed from his loss. Some days, I wonder if I've even started. And this pain is what made me hesitate.
After my loss, my sister-by-choice's niece lost her twin girls, Kilayah and Kiera, in August of 2009. She was 20 weeks. A part of me wanted so badly to make something for her girls that she could keep, but I didn't. The pain, then, was still so crippling that I couldn't bring myself to even try.
Calvin's Hats organization has provided me with the inspiration to begin creating hats for these tiny angels. The other day, I was compelled to pick up this awesome yarn given to me by my cousin (Thank you again, Ness) and create a hat and then a bonnet. I didn't really know what I was doing, how big to make it, or anything. I just started stitching. After about 5 hats, I figured I should try to find some information on the size or the measurements. Turns out, the hats I'd created were the perfect size. I also discovered that the fit on the itty bitty baby doll that belongs to my son Kevin.